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What Being a Mother Means to Me

April 4

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Mother’s Day is right around the corner and this holiday has more meaning to me these days than ever. Let me explain.

Bonner family — My Family – Todd, Josiah, Aaron and Hannah

Not only am I a mother to three amazing kids (pictured above), but I myself actually have two moms. You see, 35 years ago I was adopted at 8 months old and 6 years ago I met my birth mom. So, for the past 6 years, I’ve been getting to know a whole new family I knew I had out there somewhere, but was never brave enough or quite sure enough to find them.

The Search

I didn’t go searching for my birth mom because of a strained relationship with my own mom or because I was trying to prove something to someone. I went searching because of two words:“What if?’.

You see, late one night when my husband was out of town and I couldn’t sleep, I found my way onto this adoption forum as I was treating my insomnia with some online randomness. I honestly, to this day, have no idea why or how I ended up on this forum. But I ended up reading this forum post by a lady who said she waited too long to finally decide to find her birth mom and it was too late. After she did her research and tracked down her birth mom’s information, she found out she had passed away. The regret and the sadness she felt were overwhelming.

So I asked myself that night “What if the same thing happens to me? What if I decide to search someday and it ends up being too late?” That’s when I took the plunge and found her. Long story short- she’s amazing. Her kids are amazing. Her husband is amazing. I am truly one blessed individual to be surrounded by so much love from my two families.

My Moms

One of the greatest moments in my life came this past November when we were celebrating my daughter’s 14th birthday. I invited my parents, my brother, plus my birth mom and her family over to celebrate. I looked over at the dining room table at one point during the evening and there it was. My mom and my birth mom chatting it up, laughing and just enjoying each other’s company. Could a daughter ask for anything more? No.

My parents with Hannah — My Parents with Hannah

My 3 Kids

I’m sitting here writing this as two of my kids are sick with one unfortunate head cold. They’re in the other room watching The Muppets Blu-ray while mom “gets some much needed work done”. I’m thankful that I have a job which allows me to stay home and work. Sure, sick days like this can be a little stressful when they’re home and I’m trying to concentrate, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Not having to ask a boss off for work is a dream come true to me.

Hannah and Julie — Me and My Daughter Hannah

I know us moms can nonchalantly throw around the phrase that we have “great kids”. But seriously, I have great kids. People are constantly asking my husband Todd and I what we did and are doing to have such awesome kids. I usually respond with “I have no idea”.

Maybe it’s because we have very open and honest relationships with them. Maybe it’s because my husband and I always try to admit when we’ve messed up and when we’re wrong. Maybe it’s because we’re not afraid to laugh at ourselves. Maybe it’s because we just hit the “awesome kid jackpot” and there is no explanation.

Who knows. But I do know that I am incredibly thankful for Hannah (14), Josiah (12) and Aaron (8). They make being a mom more fun than I could have ever imagined.